I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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