We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
