Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
