butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
