he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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