She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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