he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize