ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
