I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
