You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
