We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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