yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
