it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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