I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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