This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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