I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Operation Purity has been aborted
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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