Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
