Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
smell my finger.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize