there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize