I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
