And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize