I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
