nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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