i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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