Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
