But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
