nut hugger
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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