Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
