How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
