I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
