hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize