I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
