You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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