i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
