it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
