gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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