I cockslap morals
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
