Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize