how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
