I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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