God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
