I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
