dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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