you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
