Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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