..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
