i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
