It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
