I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize