so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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