this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
17 year olds will be the death of me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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