I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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