Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
barbara walters just said penis...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This baby is an asshole
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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