break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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