Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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