what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
