Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
