with your own penis?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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