I saw his package. It spoke to me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
