If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
