I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
