She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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