Your tits are I can't wait for
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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