i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
