first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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