You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
