I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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