Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
areolas are like halos for boobs.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
