Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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