Your tits are I can't wait for
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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