and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I enjoy the company of your penis
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
