those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
this will be a night to untag.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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