so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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