Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
