Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
