I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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