i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
