I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize