dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
